2nd Chance

Wordsmith88 · 03-08-2010, 08:59 PM

Ok well I'll start by saying that there's this girl she is one of my closest friends we share such similar opinions and like so many of the same things I feel like she is like my 2nd half.

About a year ago we went out on a few dates together and eventually I confronted her about how I felt about her she told me that right then she wasn't looking for a relationship but that she really did like me (in so many words). I was pretty crushed by this but I moved on the thing is the couple of girls I've dated in this past year or so haven't even come close to her I cant get her off my mind and this may seem dumb but I cant help but imagine myself with her I think I'm falling for her.

Ok well here's where my problem comes in, last week we were at a mutual friends house and she pretty much stuck by my side the whole night, constantly telling me that she loves my hair putting her arm around me etc etc, and I cant really help but feel like this could be my 2nd chance. The thing is I'm not sure about how to go about things this time around because I feel like if I just ask her out to a movie or dinner or something it wont come off as a date we do that pretty often the thing is before I get involved with this I would really like to find out if she feels the same about me I don't want to go through all of this again and end up in the same spot crushed again.

Any advice or comments would be greatly greatly appreciated

Thanks

smackie9 · 03-09-2010, 02:33 PM

Nice guys think they will lose opportunity if the don't get in there and tell the girl how they fell and get all mushy.....in a girls mind she is thinking, EW! get away from me, I need to let this guy down easy. I hope he gets the hint when I tell him I'm not looking for a relationship at this time.

First off never ever express your feelings to someone you are not in a relationship with. Second if a girl is into you she DOES NOT tell you That's she not looking for a relationship, or not ready yet, or had a bad relationship with the ex, too busy with exams ,blah blah blah. Third you never try and date a girl that is a "good friend". You are in the friends zone and 99.9% they are not interested, and you get burned.

She might be having second thoughts about you, with her recent behavior, but what will usually happen when you try to make a move they shy away again. But life would be boring if we didn't take risks right? There is something you can do. You have to stop being friends in order for her to look at you as BF material. Start by ignoring her a bit, play it cool, don't text her back all the time, if you do communicate with her, use just one word answers and don't ask anything about her or even try continuing the convo. If you guys are with a group, be more focused chillin with yer male homies. Don't let her be clinging with ya like that. Give her small amounts of attention here and there, just enough to keep her hanging. Nice guys finish last as the saying goes. So called jerks are not jerks at all. They use this push and pull method of giving attention. That's how they get girls chasing after them. The girls eat it up. I do not promote those websites about how to pick up women, BUT this method is the one they use most often......because it works.

PrincessB · 03-09-2010, 05:33 PM

Smackie's right. Most girls crave attention and it is likely this girl just misses the attention you gave her before you confessed your feelings. Alot of young girls don't perceive male/female friendships the way guys do and don't even realize they are giving off the wrong signals. Many girls are attention whores that lead guys on (unknowingly) because they like the attention not necessarily the guy.

smackie9 · 03-09-2010, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrincessB

Smackie's right. Most girls crave attention and it is likely this girl just misses the attention you gave her before you confessed your feelings. Alot of young girls don't perceive male/female friendships the way guys do and don't even realize they are giving off the wrong signals. Many girls are attention whores that lead guys on (unknowingly) because they like the attention not necessarily the guy.

Yes! you are right about that.

03-08-2010, 08:59 PM	#1
Wordsmith88 Relationship Forums Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 2	2nd Chance Ok well I'll start by saying that there's this girl she is one of my closest friends we share such similar opinions and like so many of the same things I feel like she is like my 2nd half. About a year ago we went out on a few dates together and eventually I confronted her about how I felt about her she told me that right then she wasn't looking for a relationship but that she really did like me (in so many words). I was pretty crushed by this but I moved on the thing is the couple of girls I've dated in this past year or so haven't even come close to her I cant get her off my mind and this may seem dumb but I cant help but imagine myself with her I think I'm falling for her. Ok well here's where my problem comes in, last week we were at a mutual friends house and she pretty much stuck by my side the whole night, constantly telling me that she loves my hair putting her arm around me etc etc, and I cant really help but feel like this could be my 2nd chance. The thing is I'm not sure about how to go about things this time around because I feel like if I just ask her out to a movie or dinner or something it wont come off as a date we do that pretty often the thing is before I get involved with this I would really like to find out if she feels the same about me I don't want to go through all of this again and end up in the same spot crushed again. Any advice or comments would be greatly greatly appreciated Thanks

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03-09-2010, 02:33 PM	#2
smackie9 Relationship Forums Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: British Columbia, Canada the best place on earth! Posts: 3,252	Nice guys think they will lose opportunity if the don't get in there and tell the girl how they fell and get all mushy.....in a girls mind she is thinking, EW! get away from me, I need to let this guy down easy. I hope he gets the hint when I tell him I'm not looking for a relationship at this time. First off never ever express your feelings to someone you are not in a relationship with. Second if a girl is into you she DOES NOT tell you That's she not looking for a relationship, or not ready yet, or had a bad relationship with the ex, too busy with exams ,blah blah blah. Third you never try and date a girl that is a "good friend". You are in the friends zone and 99.9% they are not interested, and you get burned. She might be having second thoughts about you, with her recent behavior, but what will usually happen when you try to make a move they shy away again. But life would be boring if we didn't take risks right? There is something you can do. You have to stop being friends in order for her to look at you as BF material. Start by ignoring her a bit, play it cool, don't text her back all the time, if you do communicate with her, use just one word answers and don't ask anything about her or even try continuing the convo. If you guys are with a group, be more focused chillin with yer male homies. Don't let her be clinging with ya like that. Give her small amounts of attention here and there, just enough to keep her hanging. Nice guys finish last as the saying goes. So called jerks are not jerks at all. They use this push and pull method of giving attention. That's how they get girls chasing after them. The girls eat it up. I do not promote those websites about how to pick up women, BUT this method is the one they use most often......because it works.

03-09-2010, 05:33 PM	#3
PrincessB Relationship Forums Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 508	Smackie's right. Most girls crave attention and it is likely this girl just misses the attention you gave her before you confessed your feelings. Alot of young girls don't perceive male/female friendships the way guys do and don't even realize they are giving off the wrong signals. Many girls are attention whores that lead guys on (unknowingly) because they like the attention not necessarily the guy.