kinda stuck on the edge -long-

[caringcore]

Alright I wasn't sure if this was supposed to go into singles or not, but it does have to do with a military relationship. I apologize that it is so long, but I don't know really what to do. We are both young by the way, 18 and 19 so, some of it may sound silly. :/

So, me and this guy (i'll call him J) went to highschool together and stuff. I guess what attracts me to him the most is we have so much in common. We talked to each other and stuff in class and everything was pretty normal. I kinda had the hint that he liked me though (always staring, saying cheesy things) and it kinda shyed me away back then cause I had my eyes on someone else. Yet back then, even though I did like him a little, I never thought of a relationship between the 2 of us (i liked other guys) and he was also really shy on top it all. Then we graduated.

Over the summer, I realized I really did like him and I started talking to him a lot more and we became pretty close. We would talk for hours at a time and both flirted with each other nonstop. But, when we first started talking over the summer, it was over Facebook since I didn't have his number and at first he wouldn't answer for 2 weeks at a time but as we talked more and more, he began responding like 4 times a day and then we got into the hour talks and so on and so forth and exchanged phone numbers.

And so...from there he told me he was leaving for bootcamp and I had no idea. So, I asked him if we could hang out before he left and he was like sure! of couse! i'd love to! And he would get really excited talking about hanging out. We tried planning a few times, but the times fell through with our work schedules. Then from there I noticed he started acting a lot weirder. I don't know if he was just getting scared because he was getting closer to leaving or what. But, he seemed to not really care about me as much anymore and like pushed me away all of a sudden. He even got a little snippy at me too, which wasn't normal and he had no reason to all of a sudden change like that. Nothing weird came up in conversation that would make him flustered or anything.

And so, I gave him a few days as a breather where we didn't talk to each other. And by this time, it was 5 days before he was to leave for bootcamp. I asked him to come with a big group of people (his and my friends) and me to a restaurant and he said he would be there. And, well... he never showed up. That night I was going to ask him out too. I had the plan in my head that I was going to do it whenever we were together (away from everyone else but in person) since he seemed kinda shy to ask himself and because I knew we both liked each other by now and it just seemed right. But, we never hung out before he left, so the chance never came.

The next day I found out he was hooked up with some other girl. And I'm guessing it just happened over night that night. And I was crushed. He never mentioned another girl, and he would talk about his friends with me in our talks. And so, I sent him a letter telling him my feelings for him and that I wish I was able to tell him it all face to face before he left.

Then he came back. And so at work, I get a text message saying that he had sent me something on a website. I had no clue he was back already and I was shocked he would even try to talk or anything since he was acting so weird, plus the fact he had the girlfriend. So, I get home and it turns out he read the letter I gave him. But, he didn't acknowledge any of it, any of my feelings, simply said I got this to late. And went on giving me his new cell phone number telling me to text him. I thought right away what an asshole.

And so, I didn't respond to him. I kinda let it trail from my mind then out of nowhere I get an im and it's from him. And we just said a few things like how was bootcamp and how are you doing and stuff. And from there he started getting into the deep talk again like he did once before in the beginning how he hated how everything seemed to have changed so much. So, we talked some more that night and at the end he really wanted to text so, we switched phone numbers once again. And I got off the computer and stuff. And from there we texted.

Then he left again, but before this time, he broke up with his girlfriend. And that shocked me. From there and until he left for training, we texted back and forth until we couldnt anymore. And this week he came back again for christmas and texted me saying he was here and all and we talked for about an hour. He came out of nowhere telling me how long he was going to be in town ( i dunno if thats a hint or anything?) and random stuff asking me. But since then I haven't heard from him. I kinda want to text him back, but I'm kinda 'edgy' on it I guess and he hasn't texted me back since. It just seems like this has been going on far to long (since july) so, I just feel nothing is going to come out of this. I feel like I'm wasting my time and thought on him to. But, as of now he is single, so I dunno, I would think if he liked me he would ask me out now....

So, what should I do? I care for him, as a person and a friend. I'm just not sure if I can see us together anymore, with his job and just how he acted towards me over all this time. Who knows, maybe he is shy, maybe he was just playing games and he really didn't have that strong of feelings for me in the first place. I just get all the what ifs in my mind and I just want to focus my mind on the truth and either move on or work around it however I can. Help?

[eightball61]

Go ahead and give it a try however the the redflag are there about him. its going to be hard starting a new relationship with someone in this position.