Any hope or just dilusional?

FMTT · 02-03-2010, 11:36 PM

Hi guys,

First time posting on here and it comes after a breakup with my 3+ year gf.

She initiated the breakup and it was because she had resentment and wasn't as happy as she should be. She loves me and says I'm a great guy and wishes we met under circumstances which she thinks would prevented the breakup.

These circumstances were basically me coming into her life a week after she broke up with an ex and me falling in love with her months afterwards and pressuring her into a relationship. She also didn't want to let me go at the same time she didn't want a relationship and so we eventually became an "item." During the last year of our relationship we had near-breakups 3 times and always for the same reason.

She says that this pressure and the lack of time for herself had grown into some sort of negative feelings towards me and restricted her from loving me the way I loved her. After the blinders I sported for 3 years came off, I agreed that she did not love me the way I loved her. She had no idea why she couldn't love me the way I "deserved." I accepted her explanation 2 weeks after the breakup after 2 previous calls asking her to get back together and amend the relationship. Those 3 calls in total were the only additional communication I had with her even though we remain facebook friends.

During those phone calls she told me she has no desire for a relationship with anyone at all and just wants time for herself. She says she loves me and wants me to be happy, she doesn't want me to limit myself, and if another woman comes into my life than so be it. She was always crying and in the third phone call was the only one that didn't push her back and she doesn't want me to hate her and she still loves me.

It's hard to not think about it even a month afterward without communication. And even if she did come back I would have to know if she could truly love me the way I deserved to be. It's been a month now and our 4 year anniversary is coming up in 2 weeks and I'm sure she will be thinking about it. I just don't know what to do at this moment besides give her space.

eightball61 · 02-08-2010, 09:34 PM

Giving space is the best. Not that you were a mistake but you were a rebound and now sees she needs time.

02-03-2010, 11:36 PM	#1
FMTT New Relationship Forums Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 1	Any hope or just dilusional? Hi guys, First time posting on here and it comes after a breakup with my 3+ year gf. She initiated the breakup and it was because she had resentment and wasn't as happy as she should be. She loves me and says I'm a great guy and wishes we met under circumstances which she thinks would prevented the breakup. These circumstances were basically me coming into her life a week after she broke up with an ex and me falling in love with her months afterwards and pressuring her into a relationship. She also didn't want to let me go at the same time she didn't want a relationship and so we eventually became an "item." During the last year of our relationship we had near-breakups 3 times and always for the same reason. She says that this pressure and the lack of time for herself had grown into some sort of negative feelings towards me and restricted her from loving me the way I loved her. After the blinders I sported for 3 years came off, I agreed that she did not love me the way I loved her. She had no idea why she couldn't love me the way I "deserved." I accepted her explanation 2 weeks after the breakup after 2 previous calls asking her to get back together and amend the relationship. Those 3 calls in total were the only additional communication I had with her even though we remain facebook friends. During those phone calls she told me she has no desire for a relationship with anyone at all and just wants time for herself. She says she loves me and wants me to be happy, she doesn't want me to limit myself, and if another woman comes into my life than so be it. She was always crying and in the third phone call was the only one that didn't push her back and she doesn't want me to hate her and she still loves me. It's hard to not think about it even a month afterward without communication. And even if she did come back I would have to know if she could truly love me the way I deserved to be. It's been a month now and our 4 year anniversary is coming up in 2 weeks and I'm sure she will be thinking about it. I just don't know what to do at this moment besides give her space.

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02-08-2010, 09:34 PM	#2
eightball61 Relationship Forums Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,534	Giving space is the best. Not that you were a mistake but you were a rebound and now sees she needs time.